Being an “intimidating woman,” here are a few things that have actually been said to me: “You’re intimidating to be around.” “I wanted to ask you out, but you were so intimidating.” “Why did you ask so many questions?It’s kind of intimidating.” “So and so doesn’t want you included, you kind of scare them.” It used to bother me a lot. I hold my ground and don’t let people push me around.I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.Your instinctive response may be to play down your looks, and while this can work – there’s a reason why the “beautiful-after-all” trope exists; everyone likes the idea of the librarian who’s secretly model-gorgeous – it’s ultimately putting the responsibility on you.Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.
I do think I take the things in life that should be taken seriously, well, seriously. I speak my mind and I inherited my mom's talent for being unable to bite my tongue. You can always be sure I will be honest, loud, outspoken, and take care of you and love you irrevocably.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.
She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em?
She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.