Many widowers have been married to only one spouse.Many have been married for several years—in some cases, more than forty years.You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.It is reminiscent of a kid who is trying to like broccoli.
If a woman is there at the right time for a widower, then she is in luck.
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As the new woman, you want a man who will see you for yourself, as an equal partner, not as a “mistress” he feels guilty about. It takes some time for a widower to deal with the loss of his wife and be able to accept another. But if you are expecting something to develop faster, and if you have expectations of coupling with gusto, your plans may end up in sadness. A woman must carefully evaluate the qualities of a widower and then talk to him openly about her needs.
Some widowers get married very quickly after their loss. Then there are those who wait, and wait, and wait some more, unable to commit. Realistically, it takes special effort by both parties to develop a bond after a spouse has died. She must get some answers and then make an intelligent decision to wait or leave.