Dating is really just a string of dicey etiquette questions, but how do you talk to the person you're dating about the other people you're dating? With online dating becoming more and more popular, it's only going to become increasingly common to see these questions come up, and, honestly, they should! What do I say to a partner when things are starting to get more serious with that other person?It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It Most people you meet are prepared for you to do something shitty to them. But there's a big difference between a bad thing done poorly and a bad thing done well.L, a friend I can only describe as having advanced degrees in the science of online dating, says, "My personal experience is that people don't worry about what is happening as much as they do how it is happening. OK, I think I'm just gonna copy/paste text all three of them as much as possible. Especially when I'm seeing other people besides you in a romantic context, which I am absolutely doing right now. When you tell someone you just want to keep it casual for now and they think that just means you don't want to get married and have kids within the year. Rest in peace, that one time I dated like a baller. Great, now I'm just dating one person like a commoner.
Be in the Moment Think of dating less as an iterative process for finding someone perfect and more like a series of potentially enjoyable evenings with beautiful strangers.
This might seem like a sort of defense mechanism against getting too involved, but I like to think of it more as a liberation tool—you assume that they're sleeping with other people, they assume that you're doing the same, and all of a sudden the pressure is off this date. And don't, under any circumstances, bring it up yourself. When you're on a date with someone, they deserve your undivided attention.
Maybe, more importantly, they deserve to like they have your undivided attention.
My friend P (and no, her real name is not just a letter but if you're friends with P, then you're friends with me) put it best.
"Assume people are sleeping with other people unless they ask or say otherwise," she says. You're not hanging all your hopes on this coffee right now either? Keep Your Dates on a Need-to-Know Basis As P puts it, "Don't feel guilty about seeing more than one person, because you can make it weird, and don't overshare about more than one person." If they ask you what you're doing on Saturday, tell them you are "busy." If they ask what you're doing, tell them you're "meeting up with a friend." If they ask which friend, defer, or lie.