You can actually learn how to do things like start conversations, make other people feel good (about themselves, and you) and want to be your friend. Don’t kick yourself if you don’t have them – just set about trying to learn them.
This knowledge alone was a revelation to me, and the ensuing tips and tricks I learned from Carnegie’s book – and others like it, including Leil Lowndes’ and many more – made me realize that I didn’t need to be some gregarious life of the party in order to be more social. Check out this blog post about becoming more social for a good place to start.
Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, and introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments.” This alone was a revelation for me.
I’d see naturally extroverted people easily bouncing around at bars and pubs, meeting new people and saying hi to their many friends, and feel overwhelmed with feelings of envy and shame that I just “wasn’t like that.” Years later, I must have looked like a cartoon character when I read Dale Carnegie’s for the first time – I could practically feel the light bulb springing to life above my head and illuminating me.
Among the many things that book illuminated for me, the most fundamental was this: people skills are just that – skills.
It took me the better part of a decade to figure it out, and even now I can’t claim to be an expert.
But I’ve certainly come a long way since my days as a timid and intimidated 21-year-old.